This blogger says it better than me:
Dear President Obama,
I’m reaching out to you as a friend. I know you must be deeply
hurting after what happened at the Missouri State Fair. Sure, you
probably try to avoid watching the news while you’re on vacation, but
I’m sure the pilot who airlifted your dog to your rental mansion in
Martha’s Vineyard probably caught you up to speed (that guy is such a
chatterbox). Your jaw must have hit the floor when you heard the news: A
rodeo clown in Missouri poked fun at you. Yeah, I know, almost
impossible to believe. The gall! The gumption! The racism! Don’t worry,
the entire country erupted in outrage, Democrats and Republicans issued
statements of condemnation, and now the offending clown has been banned
for life from the Missouri State Fair. There will likely be “action
taken” against the Missouri Rodeo Clown Association, and I do hope
justice is visited upon them swiftly. I think we’re all a little sick of
the Missouri Rodeo Clown Association causing trouble. It’s something
new every week with those freakin’ guys.
But all of this is
of no consolation. The fact is, a rodeo clown in Missouri made fun of
you. Nothing can ever ease the pain he has caused. This sort of crass
lampooning of public officials has never happened at a rodeo until now,
and I know that because a bunch of people who have never been within 150
miles of a rodeo said so. And then — worse still — the crowd erupted in
applause at the spectacle of a guy in an Obama mask being chased by a
rampaging bull. Racists, the lot of ‘em! I mean, Bush never got this
sort of treatment. Nobody ever mocked or satirized him. No crude jokes
were told about him. Nobody ever wished violence or death upon him.
Ever. You know why? Because he’s white. White presidents always get
treated nicely, especially white Republicans. Just ask Lincoln. The
whole country agreed for over two centuries that we don’t ever insult
presidents, then you get into office and all of a sudden every day is
Pick on the President Day. Outrageous!
Besides, you are due
some respect. You’ve earned it. You’ve done nothing but serve these
people and make their lives better, and this is how they treat you?
Ungrateful brats. You should drone bomb these haters. Just kidding. But
seriously, you should. You’re the first president in history to actually
order the assassination of American citizens, and I say why stop with
some Muslim propagandist and his completely innocent son who never
committed any crime at all?
I’m especially sick of these
punks in the middle class who won’t stop complaining about you. What’s
their issue? OK, you haven’t done anything about the unemployment rate
your whole time in office, median household incomes have dropped, less
businesses are opening, the number of people in poverty has increased
while the number of high paying jobs has decreased, all of this while
taxes go up and Obamacare looms, threatening to strangle small business
owners and put thousands more out of work, but so what? I’ve got two
words: Food stamps. Or is it food stamps? I don’t know, I can’t spell
it, I can just use it to get my Lucky Charms and Dr. Pepper. You’ve made
all of this “work” crap obsolete by increasing the entitlement state
more than any president ever in history! You’re adding more than 11
thousand Americans a day to SNAP. You’ve got millions relying on the
government for rent, cable, phone, even birth control. I guess this
horrible economy stuff would be kind of a bummer if not for all the
delicious welfare. Who needs an economy anymore? We’ve got you, baby.
So how could anyone be upset at you? How could they delight at the
degradation and mockery of Barack Obama? What’s wrong with these right
wing rednecks? Are they still sore about the whole thing where you sent
the IRS after your political opponents to harass and hinder them during
an election cycle? Or the stuff about spying on the phone records of
every American? What about all this business about you arming and
funding Islamic Militants overseas and then orchestrating a coverup when
a bunch of them murdered your ambassador? Are folks STILL mad that you
funneled weapons to drug cartels and then threatened whistle blowers
into silence? Or is it all this fuss over your Justice Department spying
on and attempting to prosecute journalists? Is it the wildly unpopular
two thousand page health care law? The regulation mandating that
religious employers provide abortifacients to their employees? The
millions of tax dollars you’ve given to the abortion industry and the
blessings you wished upon a group of wealthy abortionists? The bailouts?
The green energy scams? The massive expansion of government? The out of
control deficit spending? The lies? The broken promises? The betrayals?
The corruption? The attacks on our fundamental liberties?
I
can’t imagine why anyone would get too worked about any of that. Like
you said, that stuff didn’t happen. Or it did, but it’s not a big deal.
Or it’s not a big deal because it didn’t. I can’t remember, I just know
that you treat anyone who raises any of these concerns with utter
contempt and disregard, which clearly proves that they are wrong.
Mr. Obama, IF you WERE actually guilty of being a deceitful despot
who murders, conspires, and steals, then obviously all true Americans
would have no choice but to giggle with glee at the sight of your
likeness being gouged by an angry bull. Fortunately, that isn’t the
case, which is why I’d like to apologize on for the entire state of
Missouri, for everyone who has ever attended a state fair, and for
everyone in the rodeo clown community.
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